MastiYuckis March 28, 2010
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night shivering out of control – my teeth were chattering like crazy and I hurt all over – especially my boob. Greg got up and covered me in blankets and gave me some advil and finally I was able to fall back to sleep.
I woke up this morning feeling like I had the flu – but with my aching boob and the big red lines running through it I knew I have myself a little case of mastitis. IT IS NOT FUN.
I’m just taking advil and doing a lot of pumping and massage to see if I can get it to go away – luckily I have a dr. apt. Tuesday anyway so if it’s not better I can get some antibiotics then.
We had planned to spend the day with Ellie, Jackson and Conrad dogging in the sand at Madison beach. I still went figuring I either suffer at home of suffer out where the time passes quicker.
It turned into one if those days. The days I DREAD. The days where it all seems like too much and too overwhelming. Where you think what have I done and should I have ever become a parent?
I know that these days pass – and there will be other days where I feel like I have it all under control – but it’s these days that tick slowly by. I know that feeling icky is a huge scource of the problem – really I probably should have stayed in bed all day….not that that’s actually possible – which is where the circle of overwhelmedness begins.
This Too Shall Pass. This Too Shall Pass.
Come on one year!!
Got Milk? March 25, 2010
The other night Fiona asked me why Maisie didn’t drink her milk. I told her because it was cows milk and she would drink it someday. So Fiona said (smiling because she knows when she’s being funny) So do you have an udder? or a boob? You have a boob-udder!!!!!!
Ha Ha little girl Ha Ha
Big Sista March 10, 2010
Just wanted to send a follow-up post to my “Two’s a Crowd” post.
Things have been getting better although there are still moments =) Greg and I are trying to make sure that I get some alone time with Fiona every night and soon we hope to have a better system down to really make it clear that this is “fiona/mommy” time. We try to give her words to use and talk to her about it often. Most of the time it doesn’t seem like she’s listening … but over time I can tell that she is and I hope that even if she never talks to us about it that just our acknowledgement of it makes her feel better. People keep telling me that everyone goes through this and no one remembers that part of it.
The beautiful thing through all of this though is that even though it has been hardest on Fiona as she strives to figure this all out she has still shown nothing but love for her little sis! She hugs her all the time and squeezes her cheeks….granted it’s a little harder then we would like but we know she has nothing but good intentions =) She will always run and grab things for us if we need her help or sing to Maisie in the car if she’s crying. She’s a great big sister. I’m so excited to see them grow together and can’t wait till Maisie is a little older and Fiona can teach her things and really help her.
sorry my posts are so disjointed. Maisie is a mellow little babe but I’m still overwhelmed at times and sleep deprived all the time =) This too shall pass and one day my writing skills will get better =)
Maisie is already a month old (as of Thursday). It’s amazing how quickly (and yet somedays like today how slowly) time is going. This time we chose the adorable lamb Auntie Theresa made for her as her “growing stick” – just like with Fi we will take her picture each month with this lamb so we can see how she grows. And obviously from this picture she is growing (the picture on the left was at 2 weeks)! I weighed her on our scale and she’s around 10lbs. 4 oz so gaining gaining gaining.
Yesterday we took both the girls to Children’s to have ultrasounds done on their kidneys. Fiona to see if her kidney reflux is truly gone – which they think but like to monitor for awhile – and Maisie to see if she has it since it is hereditary and often siblings will all have it. We should find out the results tomorrow. Fiona was a great big sister and offered up her little sister to go first =) Maisie slept through the entire thing and Fiona was scared at first but settled in and did great.
Maisie is still a mellow little girl. She is just now starting to smile and starting to work on her goo-goo and ga-gas…..not quite there yet, but we can see the beginning of it.
This weekend we had all sorts of visitors. Friday a friend who had her baby just 4 hours after Maisie came over with her little Josie as well as Teri Mann to visit. Later my childhood friend Stephanie stopped by for a visit and then that night Scott and Lori came over to see little M for the first time. It was a great day. Saturday night our friends from Belgium came over for an impromptu BBQ and we were able to see his wife and son (Keiko and Nicolas) who we never get to see and then Sunday the whole Booher family stopped by and Jackson and Fi got to play while Ellie and I took the babies and went to a get together and Greg and Chris watched cycling. Finally to end the weekend Greg’s parents came over for dinner and we watched a bit of the Oscar’s. A great 1 month weekend indeed!
Two is a crowd March 4, 2010
Tonight after what feels like the millionth time I’ve told Fiona that I couldn’t do something right then because I was nursing Maisie she told me, “You’re always feeding Maisie and I’m tired of it and want you to stop. You don’t play with me anymore and you don’t love on me any more.”
This is hard. Fiona has continued to be great with her little sister and really loves her – but she’s right. I am always feeding Maisie and when I’m not feeding her I’m rocking her or changing her or telling Fiona to not wake her up.
She isn’t old enough yet of course to get a nap schedule – or really have any sleep pattern through the day so it seems she is awake all the time. And like all babies she has a sixth sense to wake up and cry every time it’s time for dinner or when Fiona needs me – like when she’s waking up or done on the potty.
I know that at some point in time there will be more of a schedule and I’ll be able to figure out a time I can spend with just Fi each day – and there’s a good chance that will happen sooner then later – I think a big part of it is just me….I’m still a bit frazzled by this new balance and I’m losing my patience too often and find myself feeling like I’m behind the ball instead of on top of it more often then not.
But honestly my heart broke a bit when she said that – I know that some of this is unavoidable – and maybe even good for her – but it was a good reminder that I need to get my head back in the game and try a little harder at finding a better balance.
Hang on tookie bird – hang on.